where sierra stopped to think for a while...

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 21:53:52 GMT

i had a baby...

http://s208.photobucket.com/albums/bb299/lillianjean/

sigh

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 01:00:26 GMT

well, i haven't updated here much...i've been updating my deadjournal religiously...*shrug* i guess none of the people here who would actually care (complain for not updating here) decide not read that...*shrug*

yesterday was my last day as a cinemark tinseltown employee...today i'm technically a manager...

kevin and i have been having our ups and downs...all leading to my insecurities, and our lack of time together.

i end up feeling like i'm not important and he ends up trying to fix it...then it's ok till the next week...

neglect...it sucks...

i also haven't really made any friends...so i don't get to hang out with anyone in my spare time...kevin's usually sleeping...and i'm just bored...

*sigh*

well...more crap's happened...but hey...if you really wanted to know, you'd read my deadjournal...so yeah...

-sierra

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 21:43:01 GMT

*sigh*

i really love kevin...

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 19:09:29 GMT

YAY!!! i'm all managery at work now....:P

I FINISHED MY PAPER!!!

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 10:10:42 GMT

here it is...i'm actually happy with the outcome so yeah...you all should read it...

A Social Outcast’s Dream of Greatness

Science has always been the type of curriculum that was put on an intellectual pedestal. One example is the cliché, “that’s easy; at least it’s not rocket science.” This cliché signifies society’s belief that scientists as well as rocket science itself is worthy of praise. Hearing such cliché’s when I was little were some of the reasons I took an interest in science. Some of my earlier memories of scientists were always the geniuses creating chemicals and viruses in laboratories. I enjoyed the stories about a virus breaking free and killing half of the population (Stephen King’s The Stand). I always admired the scientist behind such a disease. To have all that power. As you may have noticed I read many books when I was young.
I always had the time due to the fact that I was (and still am) not good when it comes to people in general. When I’m in a group of people I always tense up and never know what to say. Then when I finally think of something, I say it at the wrong time causing the dreaded silence. In middle school was when my social life started to spiral downward. That was, until I took an elective science class in 7th grade; lab after lab of nothing but working by myself. There’s no need to tell you, but I was in heaven. As I was working by myself all the time there was no need to socialize, and I was accountable for my work. (I always felt that accountability was sometimes lacking in group activities.) I was an over-achiever always getting things done before schedule. In a lab setting, there was no one there to mess up my work, which was a big deal due to a slight case of obsessive compulsiveness. Every little detail in a lab had to be perfect; another person interfering with that got an earful and I ended up losing another friend.
One of the earlier independent labs I did in that class was an ecosystem in a bottle. We cut two two-liter bottles and filled the bottom with water and an aqueous plant, then put the top on then filled the upper bottle with dirt and radish seeds. After the initial setup was complete, the whole thing was sealed with a lot of tape. We all had the option to put a Chinese Algae Eater in the bottom of the ecosystem. I of course, being the obsessive compulsive over achiever added one to the bottle. There were 18 students in the class; 8 of them had Algae Eaters; 7 of the Algae Eaters lived for upwards of two weeks; one fish died the second day.
That little dead fish was mine. Unlike the other students, the death of my fish did not detour me, but in turn, amplified my interest. While everyone else was happy chatting to one another with their happily growing ecosystems, my eyes were glued to the wonderfully interesting world of decay. I sat and watched the flesh dissolve into the water, killing the aqueous plant. The radishes tried to grow, yet withered within the week leaving a fabulous environment for fungus. Thus my ecosystem resembled something one would find in the back of the fridge after about five years of neglect. That was the turning point in my life. That fuzzy decaying mass turned all my focus on science and thus decided what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.
Sort of.
It wasn’t till my junior year of high school when I started taking extra science classes. My last two years of high school, I was enrolled in Advanced Placement Chemistry, Physics, and Anatomy. Anatomy was enjoyably demented. My motivation for that class revolved around two dissections, the rat, and the cat; both interesting in completely different ways. Let’s start with the rat. My anatomy class was very large so I was in a group of two other girls. Me being the gore/gross lover I am, picked to two peppiest girls I could find; this set me in position to do all the cutting and ripping apart. After killing our rat with chloroform, I started to dissect. I dug in while the two girls watched from a safe “out of splatter zone” of two feet away. As I made my incisions, the rat began to bleed a bit. This, I was told, was normal since we had just killed them. So I continued thinking nothing of it. The girls on the other hand decided with flowing blood, the “out of splatter zone” needed to increase another foot. I opened the chest cavity and started to explore around the organs when something caught my attention. The little heart was still beating. Out of all the groups in the entire class, that little heart had to beat in mine. I was ecstatic. Not only did I get to see the heart…I got to see it in action! The girls on the other hand, on the verge of fainting, ran to get the teacher. She quickly explained (calming the, now frantic, girls down) that this was nothing to be alarmed about, the rat was brain dead and the body just hadn’t realized that yet. Thus she took some alcohol in an eye dropper and dropped three drops onto the heart. In about two seconds it stopped, along with my amusement.
The cat was a slightly different matter. The same girls decided it was nice being in a group with me, seeing as how their lab grades were both A’s and they did about an eighth of the work. So we got a female cat. She had been dead for a long while and upon opening her stomach we realized it was because she had a large plastic bag that had blocked almost her entire digestive system. The dissections, for me, were dull, until I found some oddly shaped obstructions in the lower abdomen. My dead kitty was pregnant! It was so excitingly awesome! We did a C-section and discovered she had two little boy kittens and a little girl. They were so far along that if she had lived she would have given birth in about a week. Those little perks made my dreams of becoming a doctor dissipate. I loved the lab, but all the people doctors had to make happy just didn’t fit with my negative social out-look. There I sat wanting to find my niche in this great field, yet nothing struck me.
Then along came chemistry. I had one of the best teachers one could ask for. It was his second or third year teaching; he was so enthusiastic about chemistry, it forced the student (no matter how easily bored) to sit alert, while allowing themselves to be drawn into the lecture. He was the soul reason I chose to major in chemistry. His passion sparked an interest I could not refute. The chemistry lab was a place where I could get away. No one bothered me when I was mixing chemicals and creating solutions. Mainly for fear; they didn’t know what I was messing with and didn’t want to interrupt at a crucial when something could…let’s just say…explode!
Thus in my journey, my chemistry teacher’s passion altered into my own. I have found my home in greatness.

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 21:40:24 GMT

YAY! i'm done with my whiskey lab!!! now just a 4 page paper for tomorrow...(which i can work on at work too!) and i'm all caught up!!! yay...*does a little dance*

7 months

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 17:20:07 GMT

-_- i get to work tonight at 5...ugg...and write a 4 page paper...and finish my lab...and math...atleast i'm done with chem...

Happy 7 months kevin!...

umm...nothing else...

some may remember this...some may be seeing it for the first time...

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 08:05:30 GMT

01. Who are you, what's our relationship?:
02. How and where did we meet?:
03. What's my middle name?:
04. How long have you known me?:
05. Tell me one good thing about myself?:
06. When you first saw me, what was your impression?:
07. My age:
08. Birthday:
09. My favorite band at the moment:
10. Color eyes:
11. Do I have any siblings?:
12. Have you ever had a crush on me?:
13. What's one of my favorite things to do?:
14. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?:
15. Describe me in 3 words:
16. Name 5 things I love:
17. Do you think I'm good looking?:
18. How would you describe me to someone?:
19. Would you ever date me?:
20. Tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:
21: What do you like most about me?:
22: If we could spend a day together, what would we do?:
23: Have we ever gotten in a fight?:
24: Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years?:
25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it:
26. What do you think my weakness is?:
27. Do you think I'll get married?:
28. What makes me happy?:
29. What makes me sad?:
30. What reminds you of me?:
31. If you could give me anything, what would it be?:
32. When's the last time you saw me?:
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?:
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?:
35. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?:
36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?:
37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?:
38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?:
39. Would you make a movie of me?:
40. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day?:

is the truth really out there?

-_-

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 07:30:47 GMT

well then...it has come to my attention there are intruders...humm...what was a great way to get out my aggressions and reflect on things has become a cross between scandal and blackmail...so this little journal was nice...i have enjoyed it...but what is in here will be either deleted or made private...that includes new entries...one shall receive only shallow dripple unless a friend of mine...*shrug*

night all...

from one who thought she could believe...

bored!

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 09:29:30 GMT

You are a mermaid, the owner of the seas,playfull
and free you have fun with your life. You
sometimes take a risk and may hurt people but
you allways making it up with the kindness of
your heart. You also like to be alone
sometimes, and may be called "weird"
for some things that you do, like being
alone!!! But you have friends who will stick
with you till the end and you will stick with
them till the end too!!! You are also very
motherly and like to mother your friends!

What Mystical creature are you?(with awsome pics and detailed results!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Mysterious, elegant, creative and calm
You are a sprite of the Water. Creative and one of
the most beautiful of sprites, you strike
wonder and curiosity into the hearts and minds
of all. Even though you are capable of
attraction and seduction you are way above all
that, you understand the true meaning of life
and are very open and understanding of life's
mysteries, most likely you are one of them. You
are respectful of all ways of life and do not
judge one due to their position or station in
life. You are gifted in the ways of
understanding and given the chance are usually
full of good, wise advice but your not the type
to take the stand and express such things. Your
laid back nature can be troubling, you don't
take many risks and prefer to keep things as
they are. You are one of the most unique of
sprites.

.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

You're a pegasus. You're very calm and loving.
Something about you makes others want to get
close to you, whether or not you feel the same
way about them. You don't bond to others
easily, but when you do it's long-lasting. Your
alignment is *good*, but not so much that you
can't have fun.

What mythical beast are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your a Unicorn! Unicorns are pure, innocent,
magestic creatures that have a spiraling white
horn growing out of their forehead, and a white
graceful, horses body. Unicorns represent the
sign of purity, innocence, freindship, healing,
rejeventation, and truth. Your horn is rare
prized, but you tend to be naive, lured by a
childs cry. Unicorns are reare, beautiful ans
shy mythical creatures, and you are lucky to be
one.

What Mythical Beast are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Take the quiz: "What kind of dragon are you?"

Black
You are a black dragon! You're evil, and some times obese. You tend to be grumpy, but have a soft side!

Take the quiz: "What kind of bf/gf are you?((with pix))"

romantic
You are the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend...you know just they way to be in a relationship! Don't change anything and good luck!

poop

Sat, 09 Jul 2005 22:54:42 GMT

i work at 5 -_- but hey i had to pre-occupy my morning somehow...

*giggle*

You are a kawaii Neko! You're not very bright, and
naive, but thats what makes you so damn cute!
No one can stay mad at you. =n_n=

What Kind of Anime Neko Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

ugg

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 08:16:42 GMT

wow...as i started writing this i realized how tired i really was...*yawn*...work's been kinda iffy...today was ok...every night these cats fight outside my window...-_- that's why all my cats were indoor cats...the only one i never worried about when he got outside was shpu-shpu...he was a big cat and could hold his own...:P he's still at the mall -_-

i've been catching up on a lot of my reading...*giggle*

katie's been trying to talk to me...i think she's in trouble again...-_- she thinks i'm ignoring her but the only time she ever gets online is when i'm at work...*sigh*...

my back hurts *wimper* i need to lay down...so yeah...

night all

sierra

poop of the poopieness...

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 17:41:32 GMT

*sigh*...it's raining...:P we were all suppose to go out to jacksonville today...but we have to wait for a toe truck thingy cause ryan's mom's van has a flat -_-...so i'm at ryan's on his comp...very interesting indeed...now i'm having fun with dan...

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 07:08:21 GMT

jason always makes things better :)

http://photobucket.com/albums/y48/sierradawn2466/JASON/

that's what i was doing for the past 2.5 hours :P

so yeah...

night nights

sierra

remembering...

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 07:09:26 GMT

so as i got off work tonight i came to the standstill i had been avoiding for the past month...i have no right to be upset or angry. so i'm left to fall back on my consistency. a girl should not blame it on a stage every time. so i'm looking past that. by not being the right mindset, i've over looked my own feelings. i'm mad. it just hurts that i've lost him, and he's still here. so i'm moving on. emotional swings and all. little sierra has to grow up some more. just a refusal and it brings the end of so much. *sigh* it was a good friendship that has changed and shifted so slightly and then drastically. this is my night of remorse for what i've lost, and cringing at the immense change in what i'm left with.

i've never liked change, but i will accept it.

-_-

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 03:47:16 GMT

*sigh* what am i going to do for the rest of my life?

it's so boring not going to school -_-

and i've been shoved money but all of it's tied up already...

and i want to go hang out with ryan and everyone but i'm working then getting a tire tomorrow then calling kevin tomorrow...

so yeah...

*yawn* back to work...

sierra

i graduated...i guess...

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 23:40:00 GMT

*sigh* so my mother had the worst time of her life...i was having fun...it was just a stressful situation for a lot of people...i ended up getting a lot of money...and stuff...i'm going to open another checking account so i'll be able to keep my college money in there...so yeah...i have a cell phone now...still don't know the number :P...

dad and i were so unprepared for the camping trip...we had nothing really...except all the camping stuff dad ended up giving to me...i did have fun on the beach looking for agates...heh...found a whole 9 while dad found about 20...that's ok...i'm getting better...it's so nice there...i wish i would have had more than a day...

grandma gave me another $100 to get a new tire...-_- sent it with dad too so i couldn't give it back or refuse...*sigh* i really do like that side of the family...so yeah...

kevin actually came to my graduation :D that was awesome...i really do like the boy :P

*sigh* i have to go to work now...

buh-byes all

sierra

woot

Sat, 11 Jun 2005 15:42:04 GMT

well...YAY! i get to graduate today...:P

well i need to go to dad's now...he wants to get me a cell phone...poop...

then mother wants to buy me an outfit at 12 so i'm in what she wants me to be in when i graduate...-_-

then i go pick up kevin at 2...YAY he's actually coming!!!

then dinner's at 4...(i really like no ho's)

then i have to get to graduation at 6:30...

then after that i plan on sleeping...-_- but i can't because i have to pack for the camping trip! YAY...that reminds me...i need to get a few desposible cameras...

*sigh*

sierra

DAD'S on his way up here!!!!!

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 18:02:04 GMT

YAY...i'm so excited i get to see my daddy!!!...and i'm graduating tomorrow -_- that's weird...
so yeah...ryan and i are going to the mall in half an hour to meet amy and andrew cause they want to go do stuff :P the poopy heads...*shrug*

i want to go back to sleep but yeah...:P

bye for now all...

sierra

3 months?...yup i think so...

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:04:56 GMT

*sigh* oh my...well i've been crying my eyes out today...hung out with kevin after senior day on monday...then after i took my precal finals yesterday...and well yesterday wasn't a good day...
-_- i don't know...
kevin kept getting frustrated with me...*sigh* and yeah...i'm getting close to my time of the month so i'm really emotional...and i asked him why it was always me who had to start things...and yeah...it's because i'm the one who wants things to happen...meaning he doesn't...-_- and i told him that it just feels like he doesn't want to touch me except to tickle me...*sniffle* all i needed was for him to tell me i was wrong...that's it...just say that it wasn't because he didn't want to touch me...but he said that it "could have been because he didn't like physical contact..." *sniffle* he didn't tell me i was wrong...
-_- *sigh* i just don't know anything...
went crying to ryan...and he made things a bit better...but what am i going to do when he's gone? how am i suppose to get through my problems on my own? -_-
well...
after all that with kevin i proceed to get home and mother is yelling at me about my room...i ended up going to sleep around 7:30 and getting up at 8:12 this morning...heh over 12 hours and i still don't want to deal with the world today...i couldn't hook up my computer in the living room because everything from the 2 rooms is piled in the living room in front of my calbe hookup...-_- so i have resorted to caffe diem...*sigh*...mother snapped at me this morning because she felt i had a problem with her setting "my" new room up the way she wants it...*rolls eyes* like i really care...
i've noticed moths...there's one inside caffe diem right now trying to fly out of the building...there were 2 in my box (box office at work) the other day...heh they startled me...
well...i graduate sat...i should...and i'm hungry...so i'll dink around a bit online then head home for food...

buh-byes

sierra

[edit] 5:31
finaly hooked up my comp in the small room...yey internet works...*sigh*

what ended up happening...

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 23:25:22 GMT

so i gave my speech fri. -_- i ended up crying into andrew and he ended up going to ryan's and getting him. andrew and amy left me in chris and jason's care...who proceeded to cheer me up...hehe the sad thing is...they cheered me up by talking about pony sex (inside d&d joke) so then ryan came and i calmed down before i gave my speech...it went ok...this woman gave me a hard question and i kind of got defensive...hopefully i still pulled off a B...it's finally over...turns out i failed my physics test...might pull off an A...probably getting a C in chem...and i failed my precal test...so when i re-take that tues along with my final i should pull off a B...i'm probably getting an A in english...passing my aid class...and i'm getting an A in contemp. issues...*sigh*...ryan tried to help me move stuff out of my room last night...mother's kicking me into the living room...-_-
i work at 5 :P
so yeah...i'll take my laptop to work and use it at cafe diem...

buh-byes
sierra

...i...sniffle...give...sniffle...my speech...sniffle...today...

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 18:41:28 GMT

i'm so depressed...and sad right now...*sigh* i don't know...it's not even all because of my presentation...i'll do great on that...i failed my physics final...somehow i pulled off an A...heh go figure...i failed my 2nd to last precal test...that dropped me to a B and with my 63% on my honors stuff i'm going to re-take that test...to try and get a C and try to get an A on the final...thus i'll pull off a B...-_-

ryan went home early...heh...i actually need him here and he goes home early...*shrug*...he had a hard night...so yeah...i don't matter...(i didn't say it that way...) and jason couldn't help...and *sniffle* i'm hungry...

i'm going to be fine...just fine...i'm not going to fail...i'm not...i'll be fine...fine...just fine...i'm not going to fail...i'm not...i'll be fine...FINE!

-_-

*crawls into a corner and passes out alone*

sierra

omg!

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 23:45:43 GMT

guess where i am?!?!?! CAFE DIEM! yay...wireless is awesome... and this is the first time i've gotten to get on the internet with stan...isn't that awesome...:P

anyway...i have to be at work next door in 15 min...it's weird getting used to this keyboard...

sierra

ugg

Fri, 27 May 2005 17:49:28 GMT

i'm in the library trying to get my pre-cal homework done...-_- got off at 1:30 last night...you know...i love changeovers but i hate having to go to school fridays after them...:P only a few more weeks of that though...yay...*sigh* so yeah...ugg...i will have to start working on my chem lab soon...*shrug*...i will try to work on that a little later...

sierra

sigh

Thu, 26 May 2005 18:44:59 GMT

well...i am going through another boring day...-_- i have to take ryan home after school...i do get to take a shower...yay...i hate not having a bathroom!...i think i'll go home and get clean cloths so i can change at ryan's...i can make it back by lunch time...12:10...humm...ok...i need to go now...i need clean cloths...yup yup yup...i'll just get my work cloths...:P so yeah...buh-bye

sierra

[edit] 3:58ish
poop!

where sierra stopped to think for a while...

*sigh*

I FINISHED MY PAPER!!!

7 months

some may remember this...some may be seeing it for the first time...

-_-

bored!

poop

ugg

poop of the poopieness...

remembering...

-_-

i graduated...i guess...

woot

DAD'S on his way up here!!!!!

3 months?...yup i think so...

what ended up happening...

...i...*sniffle*...give...*sniffle*...my speech...*sniffle*...today...

omg!

ugg

*sigh*

sigh

...i...sniffle...give...sniffle...my speech...sniffle...today...

sigh